Caddying is, in our opinion, one of the best ways to experience tournament play, see a new course and watch more experienced players.
- Always offer to carry the bag. Exceptions include being too young, too old, too pregnant, etc. Beyond that it’s time to sack up. Literally. If you are feeling extra neighborly, offer to help keep score and spot drives.
- Only speak when spoken to. The last thing “the player” needs to worry about is you flapping your trap during an opponent’s putt or drive, so keep the chit chat light and in between holes and throws.
- Bringeth your own snacks and beverages. Help make sure “the player” gets something by offering occasionally from their own stores, most importantly don’t “expect” to be given food. Always come prepared with your own shit, no one likes a freeloader.
- Offer sage advice. Be what “the player” needs you to be. Do they need a good pep talk? Then it’s time to work up your best halftime speech. Maybe they just need someone to whine to and make excuses about why they’ve missed their last 5 putts. It’s totally not the basket rim bro, but you nod and agree about how these baskets are whack anyways. Or the tried and true method of calling them out on their shit and making them smell it.
- Dress accordingly. Sometimes being a caddy is a great way to introduce someone to tournament play who may not be that experienced. So try not to be a total newb and remember that you are tromping around in the woods, so some sensible footwear is advised. Also check the weather beforehand and be ready with items that will aid yourself and “the player,” like hand warmers, an umbrella, sunscreen, etc.
- Don’t be that guy. Beyond the normal butthurt behavior, don’t indulge in alcohol/drugs that are not allowed during that event. If it’s a beer-themed/non-sanctioned event (like our Morning Wood Opening taking place August 13, 2017… stay tuned) by all means strap on the mini cooler, but if not, try not to get “the player” disqualified/stroked.
- Be aware of sight paths. Aka don’t be a deer in the headlights while someone putting and throwing. Stay out of the way. Try to be conscious of where you are in relation to the person currently throwing. You should always be behind the person, if possible. Sometimes people run up to their disc and throw before you even have a chance to move, their fault if they shank it.
- Use the force. By all means wield the force in “the player’s” favor and hope for the worst for their opponents. OBVIOUSLY, you do not utter these things aloud, but some extra positive thoughts towards “the player” and ill-will towards opponents’ throws never hurt. (Readers: Don’t act all self-righteous, we know you’ve done it.)
- Snap those photos. Who doesn’t love a gratuitous action-packed photo shoot? Make sure your phone is on silent and snap away. Not only does this help out “the player’s” Instagram profile, but it can also help them critique their form as well.
- Name your price. Most likely you are doing this service for more than just a long frolick in the woods with your friend. Establish the cost of your superior caddying skills ahead of time to avoid confusion. Most players offer up their “payment” when in search of a caddy, like getting their player’s pack, lunch, discs, hander (maybe not that last one.)
*This is for our own amusement. Feel free to post additional fun suggestions, all butthurt comments will be ignored.